Out of the Ashes 2021
A Hinterland Retreat that Made All the Difference
How an FHT retreat workshop impacted the life of a young Scottish lad and how these events provide opportunities for young people to engage with the work of the Park Ecovillage, Findhorn.
This is a story of how the Findhorn Hinterland Trust and in particular its land manager Kajedo Wanderer totally changed my life. In the Winter of 2020, I was writing my dissertation in environmental philosophy in my home-city. The year before that, I was lucky enough to go down a rabbit-hole studying philosophy, environmental humanities and religions in Kyoto, Japan. When I came back to Glasgow in the thick of lockdown, I felt much angst about my life not reflecting what I was writing about, thinking about or dreaming of.
I love Glasgow – but going from exploring the many shrines, temples, forests, and mountains of Japan, to a winter of lockdown living in my childhood bedroom for the first time in five years was a blow. I was flying and then my wings were clipped.
Through my spiritual studies, I was increasingly curious about the idea of ‘manifestation’. I imagined living somewhere more rural. It should have a beach nearby, as the sea calms me down and my ancestors lived on Islay. It should have forests, as that’s where I feel most myself – ‘Callum Bruce Bell’ literally means ‘beautiful dove of the forest’. There should be a strong sense of community – my dormitory during my cherry blossom year in Japan provided me with the most powerful feeling of community I had known, and I needed more of that. I should have the opportunity to immerse myself in the arts wherever I was, because all that is good in my life came from a healthy diet of movies, music and books fed to me by my parents. I wrote all this on a piece of paper and then set it alight.
The next month, my environmental studies led me to the idea of ‘ecovillages’, and a quick Google search made me realise I did not have to leave Scotland to find one. Here was this place, Findhorn, that I somehow had never heard of despite living in Scotland for 22 years. Clicking onto their social media, I saw ‘Out of the Ashes camping retreat with Kajedo Wanderer, with the Findhorn Hinterland Trust’. Perfect! It began in summer, when I planned to travel throughout the UK following my graduation. This was my chance to dive into this place that seemed strangely aligned with everything I was hoping for.
As I arrived in the Park after a journey with four connections, my senses were overloaded with caravans, colourful clothes and houses, and accents from all over the world. Plus, it was a sweltering hot day. Was I still in Scotland? It certainly wasn’t Kansas anyway.
The first person who welcomed me was Kajedo, who is essentially the person who put out the invitation for someone like me to appear at that specific time. I was the only male participant on the Hinterland retreat, and the youngest by a decade or two, but I still felt I fitted in perfectly. Kajedo gave us tours of the Park’s history, of the land’s history, and led us through deep personal sharing’s around the Hinterland campfire.
This was a totally new world for me. I’d been obsessed with spirituality since bingeing Alan Watts YouTube videos at 14, but somehow I barely knew anyone or did anything in the outer world associated with ‘spirituality’. In the sacred space held by Kajedo, I found myself talking about feelings and experiences that I’d mostly kept to myself for years because I knew I would’ve been judged for them in most other settings. The retreat was massively cathartic, and so I jumped at the chance to do Seva (selfless service in Sanskrit) on two more retreats over the following months.
I was gobsmacked hearing about Kajedo’s experiences in the Himalayas and with Native American teachers. The possibilities of what I imagine could happen in my own life began to expand and expand. I’m definitely not the most practical person, but I also got a massive buzz from clumsily starting the campfires and rushing to deliver food and tea to new participants.
At the end of the last retreat, I was sad that I probably wouldn’t be in Findhorn again for a while. Our group stayed on for an extra night and went to ecstatic dance. During a passionate, and (unusual for me at the time) sober dance, my life so far flashed before my eyes in a wave of gratitude as I knelt before a centrepiece which read ‘Art is Life, Life is Art’. Once the dance ended, we sat in a circle and Peter Vallance announced a graduate job that fitted my CV perfectly. Thanks to Kajedo and Hinterland and the Universal Hall, I’m still here over a year later. We’ll see what happens next.
Callum Bell
The Great 60th Birthday Tree Plant
A Force for Repairing the ‘Metabolic Rift with Nature.
Since university, I have held the opinion that the nature/human dichotomy is the fundamental crux of the climate and ecological crisis and our failure to address this false separation will only escalate such crises further. This understanding emanated from my discovery of Edward Wilson’s work on Biophilia, who suggested that humans share an innate tendency to affiliate with nature and other forms of life. Our long and paralleled coevolution with(in) nature forged a symbiotic relationship where we became codependent to satisfy our physiological and psychological needs.
An entomologist by trade, Wilson’s arrival at the Biophilia hypothesis stemmed from observing the interconnectedness of all life and the paradox of human’s apparent disconnect. For centuries now, our relationship with the rest of nature has been compromised through human interventions like industrialisation, capitalism and urbanisation to name a few. An unintended consequence of this was what Marx described as a ‘metabolic rift’ between nature and society that resulted in the loss of dialogue between humans and other forms of life. In order to overcome this rift, we must re-weave ourselves into harmony with the natural kingdom and what better way to do this than getting one’s hands dirty in the soil?
During the 60th birthday celebrations, I had the pleasure of planting my first ever trees guided by the stewardship of the Findhorn Hinterland Trust. Alan Watson gave my group a quick demonstration and within minutes we were planting Rowans, Silver Birches and Field Maples across Wilkies Wood. Living in London, I seldom get the opportunity to connect with the Earth and the soil beneath our feet. Cherishing every moment, the trees I helped to plant brought me great joy and a sense of connection with the land that I hadn’t felt since my last visit to Findhorn, where I spent time volunteering at Cullerne Gardens.
I always find that working with the soil can facilitate new ways of relating to, defining and being in nature, overcoming the nature/human binary I’m constantly exposed to within my bubble of urban living. Tree planting is a true force for repairing our rift with nature, as it allows us to reconcile our inherent metabolic relationship with the natural world. We were even joined by a friendly Robin who appeared to approve of our work.
Planting trees isn’t just great for our mental health, but a key pillar of climate action as nature’s way of storing carbon. We often get bogged down with the news about exponential emissions entering the atmosphere and not enough about how to draw carbon back down again. This can alienate us from action, as large-scale emission reductions tend to operate in governmental arenas like energy and infrastructure. On the contrary, the drawdown movement can mobilise the masses by engaging people in activities such as regenerative agriculture and the tree planting I took part in at Findhorn. This way we can all feel empowered to pull carbon from the sky and participate in climate action at the local level. As we were all informed at school, the carbon cycle is a natural process, but we’ve disrupted it so much to the extent that we now need to remove more than we emit.
Planting the tree is just the first step. It will take decades of observation, care and nourishment for the trees we collectively planted to grow to their full potential. I now hand over the duty of care to the Hinterland Trust and look forward to returning over the coming decades to monitor their growth.
I would like to thank my uncle Jonathan Caddy, Kajedo Wanderer, Alan Watson Featherstone and all those involved who gave myself and others the opportunity to connect with the land at Findhorn in such a meaningful way.
Travis Caddy
New FHT Member
and Nephew of FHT Chair
Travis works in London for a company called Evident which is a world leader in certifying renewable energy and clean assets. He had just returned from COP27 before joining the Findhorn Communities 60th Birthday celebration. He was one of three ‘virgin’ tree planters in the group of 25+ participants who attended the ceremonial event, who had not had the opportunity to plant a tree before. He was greatly moved by this simple act.